its over. 13 years of my life. over. gone. pretty much vanished. its amazing. im amazed. june 8th. i swear to god i was going to throw up.  but i made it. i walked the longest walk ever to get my diploma. i totally got tunnel vision all i could see was the lady holding my diploma with a big smile. amazing. its over. no more lare nights/early mornings struggling to get papers done so you can get a passing grade. no more teenage drama in the hall ways or fights over something stupid. im going to miss it. im not gonna lie. because now its the real life. working 40 hours a week. im really scared and excited at the same time. i like it. =D


three big things happened this past weekend:
       graduated
       cleaned my room =P
       passed my grooming test at work. which means i am now a brusher/bather. 
now thats what im talking about. now im making $8.00 woo hooo =P they said if i like what im going and im good at it then july 15th they can send me down to cape cod and i can be trained to be a real groomer. =D the only thing i have to pay for is my food. i would be down there for a month. by myself. =\ . that part makes me nervous but oh well. its worth it. you can make alot of money grooming. so im really excited. plus this is something good for me to fall back on because im not so sure if the whole vet tech thing is really gonna work out. i was reading the stuff you need to get in the college and it said that you need to have good grades in alegbra.... i got 2 D-.. i passed with a 70 for both. yeah not so good. but im going to try to get in there anyway.

its finally summer. its going to be amazing. i hope. hopefully soon i will be going for my permit. [finally i know] life is going so fast right now. i love it.

 

maybe its the book im reading right now but seriously blaaah. im on the verge of  a mental brake down. ive already cried today. let me tell you the story:
   so there i was just chillin out in english class listening to mr. weavers voice get all raspy cause he was ready for the whole entire class and the phone rings. and mr. weaver tells me to go to the attendence office. i was all chill about it cause i thought it would be about me not signing out yesterday because i stayed after. so i get down there and mrs. simard asked me to sit and wait because mr. strong [the principal] wants to speak with me. i was pretty much like ... what the fuck? so i get in there and first thing he is rude. woo hoo. he asked me my name. so i said natalie. and he was like well natalie what? i was kinda shocked by his rudess so i was uhhhhh smith. yeah i sounded like an idiot already. he tells me that i might not be able to graduate. i wanted to punch him in the face right then. i was like uuuuhh what? he told me that i didnt present my PLP [which is mandatory for graduating] and i fucking did. i was yes i did. and he looked kinda pissed at me. my face was getting red. of course. and he told me that i needed to get a note from mrs. flynn saying that i can graduate. also i  needed notes from my other teachers for chemistry and english that i was going to graduate. i dont  understand!?!?! im not even failingkl.jheflk jg!!!! they may not be the best grades but still im not fucking failing. i dont know what im gonna do if i dont graduate. im so stressed out right now. seriously. i dont even know what to do anymore. i called out of work today [probably not a good idea] so i could see what i can do to graduate. this is messed up. i never thought that this i would happen. life sucks right now. im not gonna lie. at least today it does. i cant wait until this is over. 22 more days. lets see if i can last... cap and gowns tomorrow. whats the point... if im not going to graduate.. god damnit. so stressed. senior banquet is coming up. i still dont have a date. i dont want to go another dance without a date. im so fucking lame. im going to be the real life 40 year old virgin. [its cause im fat]  everything is weird. people are different. gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

the end.

Current Mood: depressed
Current Music: invisible life - ashley parker angel

i dont understand you and probably never will. yeah thats just not gonna happen. even though you said it was. you found another special someone. you suck.

and you. you need to grow up.  seriously. its gonna happen again. i can feel it. 

Current Mood: pissed off
Current Music: mika - lollipop

i got sick of my old journal. so im starting new =D
lets see:

currently i am soooooooooo fucking happy =D! seriously im losing weight and i feel so good about myself [which i didnt think was possible =P] but yay. i feel so much more happy about everything and so energetic all the time. =D yeah life is fucking great. highschool will be done in a month. thank god im soo sick of the teenage drama. haha. my grades right now... um yeah not the best. but its only because im not really doing my homework. i do great on the test and what not.  i should probably start buckling down. haha. its almost summer and im sooooo excited! i have a feeling its gonna be the best summer ever! lots of beach time haha.  ok soooo ive been talking to this guy who is pretty much perfect except he lives a couple hours away. lol. he is a nerd =D love it! nerds are my thing all the way cause pretty much i myself am i geek =P its the truth haha. gaaah i wish i could drive. it would make things good. very good. haha. oh! tonight im going to see in the land of women with breanne and katie! i havent left my house the whole vacation. im so excited to get out toight. finally! haha. ok well i guess this is it for now.

Current Mood: bouncy
Current Music: Saosin - Voices